17 Things I Learned While 17 || I’m an ADULT NOW

Hello, friend! Today’s blogspot is an exciting one: I turn EIGHTEEN (18!!!!!) in a few days, and so today, we’re talking about 17 Things I Learned While I was 17!

1. Popsockets are the greatest thing to ever exist.
2. Don’t ask multiple people if they want to hang out . . . if they’re all free, you have an issue. a big one.
3. Professional people may appear professional . . . until you stalk their social media
4. I REALLY LOVE teaching music. Teaching music is awesome.
5. Driving isn’t that hard. You just have to not step on the brake so hard that the wire breaks, rending the entire car useless.
6. Getting into troll arguments on twitter is counterproductive and useless . . . unless it’s about homeschooling.
7. College classes are fun . . . provided you get a good professor, but stILL.
8. College applications . . . just start them early. For your sanity, for your parents’ sanity, for your dog’s sanity, JUST DO IT.
9. Spotify is an amazing thing.
10. I’m old enough to have friends who are married. Not sure how that happened.
11. E-books are amazing because you don’t have to cart liTERAL books around . . . side effects include staying up until 4am reading
12. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but . . . it doesn’t hurt either
13. Money is SO HARD TO GET
14. DAILY Bible reading is so, SO helpful.
15. Grades are important. but not thAT important.
16. Graduation is one of the most exhilarating things ever
17. It is, in fact, possible, to leave EVERYTHING you’ve ever known and live . . . though maybe not without tears

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And that’s it! What’s something you learned recently? Also, e-books–yay or nay?

Growing Up is Overrated || My Thoughts About . . . Growing Up

i have four weeks left of high school
four more weeks with my friends, my routines, my life
four weeks until i go off into the Great Big World to seek my fortune, like stories say
i’ll get presented with a piece of paper that says i’m certified to do Life™
and i’m expected to break ties and forge new ones

it hurts.
i’ve been in the same routine for four years, maybe more
a part of me is straining at the bonds, waiting to see what will happen
the rest of me is willing time to move more slowly
willing myself to be more present, to take it all in
these last moments are to be treasured
hide them away
i need to store them as the memories come
i wish i could experience them fully
but i can’t thanks, derealization

i write but the memories fade
warped through the lens of time
what’s real and what did i think up

their lives will be the same
everyone moves up a grade
new band pieces will be chosen
new science olympiad events will be assigned
new cubbies kids will join
but i won’t be there
i’ll be with a couple thousand other kids who also don’t know what they’re doing
trapped on five square miles for four straight years

my friends will make new friends
adjust to life without me
i’m sure i’ll make friends too
but there’s no going back

back to the days in the band room
“running through” pieces “just one more time”
back to the days in the old church
looking at event pairings on the too-bright projector
back to the study days
rocks, powders, writing, talking, laughing
back to the kitchen counter
supergluing impossibly small pieces together
back to the church foyer days
waiting with bated breath to see fragile forms fly
back to the church basement
loving on kids that are much too small
back to the farm
giving presentations and eating snacks and talking about band

there’s no going back
and it hurts.
tears are shed
so many tears
tears for the unknown
tears for the known
tears for the people
tears for the memories
tears for the love

it doesn’t feel like i’ve been doing the same thing for five years
but it has been
monday- science olympiad
tuesday- band
wednesday- awana
thursday- class
friday- more science olympiad
just as i was getting good at how it works
and it’s time to go.

growing up is overrated
people always talk about ‘when you go to college’ as if college is some glorious, magical place where everything is made right
i’ve spent the last four years of my life getting ready
internships, resumes, extracurriculars
standardized tests, advanced classes, opportunities
my list of accomplishments

but it doesn’t include the hours curled up on the couch with your friends
it doesn’t count the moments where it’s just you and your friends, when nothing else exists
none of these count, in the Big Picture™ of life
but those are the ones that matter

growing up is exciting
and beautiful
and challenging
but it also sucks
growing up is overrated.

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P.S. a song that came to mind, not really related, but i thought i’d share

to my writer friends || my thoughts about…writers

here is a moment of appreciation for authors and writers.

those young 10, 11, 12, 13 year olds learning to use their voice. learning to how to type. looking towards older writers to see how to DO this. reading voraciously to satisfy their needs. probably writing retellings that aren’t so loosely based on their favorite books.

those finally seeing the scribblings of their younger selves come to some fruition. those realizing the foundation that the stapled pages of lined paper laid. those starting to sort through the emotions of growing up. and those who write, just because they have to, and they want to, and they love to.

those who finally embrace their love of writing. those who write after their school work is done. those who just read, and read, and read, then think, and write. those who finally start to build up pages of writing. and hundreds and thousands of words. those who have finally hit a flow in their writing.

those who write even though it’s hard. those who force themselves to sit at a keyboard and just. type. those who write even when they don’t feel like it. those who spend endLESS hours at a keyboard, trying to figure out the plotholes. and the words. and the characters. those who write, just because they have to, and they want to, and they love to.

those to whom ideas come like water from a tap. those to whom ideas come rarely, but strongly when they do. those who spend endless hours on pinterest “plotting,” fleshing out their characters and worlds and plots and storylines. those who keep a notebook by their bedside, of all the ideas that come to them while floating in the subconscious ether.

those whose words flow from their fingertips and energize them. those whose words come, but not without thought. those who pour their soul into their writing and walk away from their keyboard drained. but a good drained. those who write, just because they have to, and they want to, and they love to. 

those who spend hours upon hours figuring out how to make storylines flow together. those who plan sequels, and trilogies, and entire series. those who WRITE these sequels and trilogies and series. those who write fan fiction, flash fiction, novels, novellas, short stories. those who write. anything.

those who shout with their voice into the void of The World™️ about valuable truths about God, and about life, and themselves. those who take their words and their time and use it powerfully. those who write, just because they have to, and they want to, and they love to. 

those who guzzle coffee, or tea, by the gallon. those who force weary eyes to stay awake, who force tired fingers to keep typing, because the words need to come out. those whose computer desktops are covered in files, full of their writing. serious and otherwise. those who google things, such as ‘the fastest way to kill someone’ or ‘how to hide a decomposing body quickly’ or ‘the weather of some obscure village in Russia on exactly October 24th, 1905.’ those who set aside their own reading pleasure to do research.

those who push through burnouts. those who set deadlines. those who dissolve in tears at the mere thought of writing another yet another query letter, or another synopsis. those who would rather do ANYTHING else than have to talk to another company about their own art. those who write, just because they have to, and they want to, and they love to. 

those who don’t know if they really, REALLY, are cut out for this. those who look at all of the OTHER writers in the world, and wonder if they read their gut right. those who feel like their experience isn’t worth anything, that someone in this vast world must have had more experience than they did.

those who have spent countless hours getting their book ready to be published. those who have pounded their keyboard in frustration, unable to edit that sentence *just right*. those who fight for themselves and their voice, before their voice can be released to shout for itself. but in the end, those who write, just because they have to, and they want to, and they love to. 

i see you. we see you. those of us who aren’t writers, we see you. and we applaud you. thank you for what you do. we admire your determination and your persistence. what other craft requires this amount of sheer DEDICATION and attempts before it’s finally successful.

thank you, for what you do. thank you, for putting your voice out into the world. thank you, for even if you haven’t been published yet, to have been SO DEDICATED to a craft to be willing to spend your time, so much of your time, on it. thank you. as a nonwriter who is friends with many, many writers and authors, i can’t relate to you when you talk about your wordcounts, or your struggles, or the endless battle of writing a query, but I SEE YOU. even if you aren’t published, we see you. and we appreciate you. love you guys. ❤

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(also!!! if literally NONE of these things apply to you, don’t feel discouraged!! That doesn’t make you ANY less valid of a writer! these are just things I’ve seen from my friends!)

Instagram is TOO AESTHETIC || How to Do a Social Media Purge || My Thoughts About . . . Social Media

Hi!! Today, we’re talking . . . social media.

Now this isn’t the typical “Instagram is the highlight roll, don’t compare it to your bloopers” rant, even though it is important too. What I’m here to say is, you don’t have to care so much about your social media because PEOPLE DON’T ACTUALLY CARE.

Recently, I’ve been more attached to social media than usual (which is saying a lot #oops), and so I’ve been trying to actively cut back on the time I spend using it. I’m still in the process of figuring out what I can do to not waste my entire life on social media, but I’m actively avoiding social media for the time being.

I went on a social media purging spree the other day, and I went through my Instagram and Twitter and unfollowed all the people that I really didn’t need to follow. Some examples were-

• people from a follow-for-follow type of deal. Unless I really LOVE their content, there isn’t a need to keep following them. (Disclaimer: I don’t actively participate in follow-for-follow or follow-chains or whatever else there is; I’m talking here about the people who follow you and you follow back for ‘politeness’ purposes.)
• pages you follow multiple of. Do you really need to be following 6 kitten pages and 4 puppy pages? Cutting back to 1 or 2 would get you your animal fix, while taking down the number of pages you follow, and thus the number of posts you see!
• inspiration pages. How many (if you’re like me) bullet journal pages are you following? How many of pretty notes? How many of aesthetic-minimalistic lifestyles? How many of insane photography? Pick your favorite, and unfollow all the rest. If you’re like me, you’re following these pages for your own photos and for inspiration. How many of these pages post things that you won’t ever, EVER accomplish? Unfollow them! The only thing they’re doing is reminding you how you’re not aesthetic enough.
• celebrities. Do you still need to be following that YouTuber that you stopped watching two years ago? Do you REALLY need to be Keeping Up With The Kardashians? They COULD NOT CARE LESS about you, so why are you caring?
• laziness. How many pages are you still following, simply because you’re too lazy to tap into their profile and unfollow them? UNFOLLOW THEM NOW.

• vague acquaintances. Do you need to be following that girl you passed in the hallway once a week in high school? Do you need to be following your teacher’s daughter? Do you need to be following that person who you’ve just seen vaguely around but have never actually talked to? They don’t know you, they don’t care about you; do yourself a favor and unfollow them.
• old blogger friends. This makes me sound TERRIBLE, but really. They’ve moved on with their lives, and you’ve moved on from yours. Do you really need to be following them? This is, again, more of the ‘acquaintance’ type, the type you were following because of their blog but you don’t actually read their blog.
• bloggers that don’t fit your niche. This is kind of related to the “follow chains” type, but these are the people who you stumbled across a couple times and followed. They aren’t posting things you care about, you don’t care about what they’re posting, just unfollow them!
• nice people whose blogs you read but whose content you don’t care for. There is no written rule that you MUST follow the social media of whoever’s blog you read! If you LOVE someone’s blog, but don’t like their social media, DON’T FOLLOW THEM. NO ONE CARES IF YOU DON’T FOLLOW THEM.

Overall, it’s just that PEOPLE DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA AS MUCH AS YOU THINK. I have to keep reminding myself of this, but do you know how much time you could save if you didn’t care what people cared about on social media?

What are some ways you force yourself to not spend so much time on social media? Have you gone on a purging spree recently? I HIGHLY recommend it: it SAVES LIVES.

Rant: Friends, and How Society™ Portrays Friends || My Thoughts on Boys and Friends, and Society

As I’m going into my senior year and am turning 18 on my next birthday, I feel like I’m qualified to give friends/boys/society advice now. *insert eyeroll*

I’ve been thinking about making a post completely dumping out all my thoughts for this topic, because it’s been a rather controversial thing that’s happened over my entire high school career, you could say. (Once you read the post, you’ll know why)

I actually made a twitter thread about this, that I’m using as my basis for this whole post, because IT’S IMPORTANT. IT’S SO IMPORTANT.

A thread of thoughts about boys at 2am that I'll probably regret tomorrow

— Hanne T (@HanneAsInHannah) July 16, 2017

My best friend is a guy. (At least, one out of 3 of them is). We met when I was in 8th grade and he was in 7th grade. We go to the same church, so naturally I had been aware of him since before then, but we had never really talked.

And then my 8th grade year, I started doing science olympiad and band, which were both things he also did, and we became super close really quickly.

By my 9th grade year, we were using google hangouts with each other (large steps of technology for us homeschoolers ) And leT ME JUST SAY, once you start talking to me on Google Hangouts, there is no going back. I show what I think is my best side but what is probably my worst side on there.

At any rate, he is now one of my closest friends.

And beCAUSE my best friend is a guy, I really haven’t had any crushes (to talk about) throughout middle or high school. Yes, we do love each other, but it’s completely platonic. We both have other friends of the opposite gender, and we’re not limiting ourselves to each other.

And trust me, I’ve heard my share of crap about this friendship, mainly from girl friends (who are too eager to pair you with someone) and moms. (Once I overheard a church mom say to his mom regarding us: “if they fight like that now, just wait until they’re married”)

Growing up in a Christian community, I’ve heard my share of “your best friend should be the same gender so you can relate” stuff. And this is where I have an issue with Society™*. The World™ says “get yourself a boy/girlfriend as early as possible, date as much as you can, breakups are normal, so are crushes. if you feel like doing THE THING™ at age 16? GO FOR IT. WHY NOT. LIFE IS SHORT.” On the other hand, the church/Christian community says “Don’t have too close of friends with people of the opposite gender.”
*Society™ is defined as what The World™ and The Church™, or PEOPLE in general think

But honestly? I’m glad that my friend is a guy. I’m also glad I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with cheating boyfriends, or breakups, or any of that crap. I’m also glad I have a good standard to measure other guys by when I start dating.

Because trust me, if I’m dating someone (eventually) who doesn’t listen to me rant at 1am about life? He’s not staying. If I’m dating someone who doesn’t say “go ahead, rant. I’ll listen,” you can bet YOUR TOES it’s probably not going to last. (Though how I’d have gotten INTO aforementioned hypothetical relationship I really do not know).

If my future boyfriend doesn’t respect what I want, pray for me when I ask for them, give me the pressure on the important things, and in general just CARE, he’s likely as not going to BE my boyfriend.

Because of this friendship, I’ve not had the need to have boys “notice” me all throughout my middle/high school years, and that’s THE BEST. And wow, I’m so glad I didn’t spend time crushing left and right, because that’s JUST WEIRD. (#youknowyourehomeschooled)

And wow, I’m so grateful for HIM™, who has literally coached me through awkward social sitiations and girl friend issues (because, guys, MINDBLOWER: GIRLS ARE HARD TO FIGURE OUT. THE DRAMA IS REAL. it doesn’t help that I’m the most socially awkward extrovert on earth)

I’m breaking all societal norms/expectations, and I 100% think this is THE best path for me. It may not be *THE BEST* path, nor is it *THE* path that everyone should take, but this is the one I’ve taken, and I’m completely happy with it.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying to ditch all your girl best friends and to find a best boy friend. Neither am I saying that EVERY girl must have a guy best friend that’s NOT their boyfriend. I just want to point out that IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE A GUY BEST FRIEND WHO’S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND WHO YOU LOVE PLATONICALLY AND ITS ACTUALLY THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.

Talk to me! What are your perspectives on this? My perspective on this is probably different from other peoples’, both in the Church™ and the World™, and Society™ in general.

Rant: Every Christian Novel Ever

Yes, I know I’m stealing this from Katie Gregoire, but GOOD HEAVENS, JUST BECAUSE SHE DID IT DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T DO IT TOO! (her much more coherent video will be linked at the end)

Also another disclaimer: I’m not this angry in person. I don’t rant this much. Just incidentally these couple weeks I’ve had a lot to rant about. Just ask my friends. or not, because I rant way more to my best friends XD

In this blogpost, we discuss* components of a Christian novel, lovingly titled Every Christian Novel Ever™, and what makes up a good Christian novel.

If I had wanted to be mean, I would have written this post as a ‘how to write a Christian novel of your own’ guide, but I know too many authors that work too hard to diss them like that. So thank me. I’m nice, I know.

*by ‘discuss,’ I mean SCREAM LOUDLY AND VIOLENTLY because why be quiet when you could be loud? #goodlogic

So, what makes up any book?

Setting, characters, backstory, plotline, content, climax, and resolution.

We’re going to discuss each of these.

Setting: Every Christian Novel Ever™ is either set a) in the Amish community, b) in the mid1800s in the Wild West™, or c) in Britain ~1800s/early 1900s. There have been rare sightings set during early 1900s in, like, New York, or even rarer sightings of books set in the modern time period.

Characters: A guy and a girl. (duh). Occasionally, it’s a girl and TWO guys. Never two girls, and a guy…not sure why. (*eye roll*) The guy is always ALWAYS super manly and has lots of muscles, is a policeman etc. The girl may be plain to look at, because of her sad background (see backstory, below), but the instant she puts on a ‘nice’ dress, she becomes the envy of any man in a radius of 50 miles.

Backstory: For the girl, she either has SUPER protective parents, or else, dead parents. Sometimes with a dead exhusband/fiance/boyfriend. For the guy, he either has a dead wife/fiancee/girlfriend, or was abandoned when he was little. So basically, dead parents/ex significant other/traumatic past in general. EVERY TIME.

Plotline: The plotline could go two ways. Either the guy meets the girl and falls in love with her at first sight, and the girl doesn’t love him back,  OR else, the girl and the guy don’t have ANY feelings for each other, but then *something* happens that throws them together. And BAM, suddenly the girl sees the guy’s muscles and sees what all she’s been missing out. And they accidentally touch, and electrical sparks fly.

Content: Every Christian Novel Ever™ contains several required scenes. There’s, of course, the unnecessarily detailed his-knee-touched-her-arm-or-something-and-tingles-ran-down-their-spine-and-they-quickly-pulled-away-embarassed-but-then-thought-about-that-moment-for-days moment, and there’s always that impulsive he-looked-at-her-and-at-that-moment-he-couldn’t-restrain-himself-and-kissed-her moment. In the Amish books, there has to be either a singing or a quilting, and there also must be a beautifully unnecessarily detailed spiel about either the guy’s muscles or the girl’s natural beauty.

Climax: The climax usually involves some sort of realisation of love and/or a marriage proposal. Like, EVEN DISNEY WAS LESS CLICHÉ, OKAY? There usually is also a “okay, God, I guess you do exist, so I’m going to pray” moment, which is the whole “Christian” part of Every Christian Novel Ever™, I suppose. XD

Resolution: A wedding and riding off into the sunset. Oh gee, I’d never would have thought! Nothing ever happens ever again, apparently.

So now, when I review Christian novels, I can say “This book was yet another Every Christian Novel Ever™!” and y’all will know what I mean! WOOT.

And, as promised, here’s Katie’s video.

Leave me your thoughts down below! I know I can’t be the only one who thinks that Christian novels are too formulaic.

Rant: Judging Music Tastes

Okay guys. I got a bone to pick. WHY DO PEOPLE JUDGE OTHERS’ MUSIC?

So a few weeks ago, my friends and I were sharing our Spotifys with each other (mine’s @sqq100). So my friends were both like “lol, so don’t judge what I listen to…” And I have issues with that.

Photo Credits, editing mine, feat: PicMonkey

Music is a form of expression. People express themselves through what they listen to, and other people should not judge others based on how they express themselves.

Okay so ^ sounded EXTREMELY liberal. XD Obviously, there should be some restrictions in place.  I hope I’m not friends with someone who ‘expresses themself’ via drinking or whatever, but I do firmly believe that YOU listen to what makes YOU happy.

(Also, scientifically speaking, the chords and stuff in music may appeal strongly to someone’s brain and how it’s wired, and be completely repulsive to others’, similar to favorite colors and such.)

THE OTHER THING. People complain about language/content (violence etc) in music. Like they (they = some Christians) boycott everything with any trace of any language/content in their music, but then proceed to watch movies/read books with language/content in it? I’m all for filtering out content and only listening to “clean” stuff, but still, if you’re going to apply this logic to music, you might as well apply it to all media you’re going to interact with! If you’re only going to listen to Christian music, then also only watch Christian movies and read Christian books. LIKE WAT IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.

I’m a classical musician, so I listen to a lot of classical music. Does that equate to my opening up myself to criticism and judging from my peers who listen to “contemporary” music? UM I CERTAINLY DON’T THINK SO. In the same way, I don’t think that people who listen to “contemporary” music should be attacked by people who listen to more “conservative music.”

I also listen to a bunch of music that aren’t really classified as “Christian” music to listen to. I listen because of the chords, of the progressions, of the vocalizations. While okay, people might be displeased with why I listen to, it’s still not an option to judge me as a person based on what I listen to.

(Also, by jingo, I listen to Christmas music in September, and I hope to goodness that nobody ever judges me for that XD)

Another thing. The music pastor at our church said something recently that made a lot of sense. He played a Middle C, and asked whether that was a “Christian” note or not. Naturally, that’s not a thing. A C’s a C, and it cannot be classified as “Christian” or not. In the same way, music cannot be classified as “Christian” or “nonChristian”. SO STAHP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU’RE ONLY GOING TO LISTEN TO CHRISTIAN MUSIC. Christian music uses the same chords as secular music, and while the words may be different, I don’t see it as an indicator as to how “spiritual” a person is.

One more thing. Music often correlates with memories, feelings, or emotions for people. It may be for sentimental reasons, or it may just be the music playing in the background when something happened. Whatever the case, it is important to THEM as part of who they are.

If you tell them that you don’t like that song, or don’t think they should be listening to that song, you may be disregarding what sentimental values that they have attached to that song, and that’s obviously important.

Music is a form of art, and not everyone likes the same art.

Am I saying that it’s wrong to share playlists, or to talk about why you don’t like music? Of course not! I’m just saying that it probably isn’t the best thing to judge someone based on their music tastes.

I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone here…I’m an ESFP, and I’m terrible at communicating myself through words, unlike some of my beautiful ISFP/INTJ/whatever bloggy friends, who are able to write beautiful poetry and thoughts and everything. I hope, at least, that this makes some sense. XD

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I realise that I probably have a different view of this topic than most other Christian people. What do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

But Is It Love? || A Poem ||My Thoughts About…Love

I came up with this some time ago, but thought it would be a good time to post this now, sort of as a Valentine’s Day post.

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But Is It Love?

We think we know all about love

We see it everywhere: in movies, in books, in magazines

But do we really know love?

Never too busy to talk

…but is it love?

Living lives together together

…but is it love?

Growing together

…but is it love?

Working together

…but is it love?

Sharing futures, dreams, goals

…but is it love?

Supporting each other

…but is it love?

Understanding each other

…but is it love?

Laughing together, crying together

…but is it love?

Saying “I love you”

…but is it love?

The pounding in one’s heart

…but is it love?

Love is in the air, this time of year

But what is love?

I wish I knew.

I wish life wasn’t complicated.
I wish I didn’t wish for love.
I wish I knew the way.
But there is love.
The love that comes from the Father
Pure, unfailing, unconditional love.

But is it love?
I can stop worrying. I can stop wishing. I can stop dreaming.
For I know love.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! ~1 John 3:1

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